Ένα (φανταστικό) γράμμα από τον Morrissey

My dearest L-

By the time you read this I will probably be well on my way back to Rome. Please forgive my sudden departure. I guess Rome is, quite simply, home now. I need to get back as soon as possible to get to work on ‘Cheerleader of the Fermentors’. Hmm… I will definitely be changing the title but I think the final one will be something along those lines. Perhaps a day will dawn in the future for an Athens album. One can never know…

For the time being I guess it’s Pasolini for me. We never did manage to incorporate the name Aggelopoulos into a lyric in a manner which would not induce cringes … and even though we came up with some pretty outrageous rhymes for Jenny Karezi, my allegiances at the moment are placed firmly with Anna Magnani. Alas! I offer a compensation of sorts. I’ve left my copies of Accatone and Porcile on the bookshelf and I am borrowing your Beekeeper. I will be looking forward to trading them back some day in the not too distant future.

I’m very pleased we planted all those carnations in the allotment. The thought of cutting them one day and sneaking them into one of those skyladikoes to fling at the local crooners will warm me on those cold winter nights in Rome. There is nothing quite like home-grown arsenal. However, as I told you Plutarch for me will always be a historian first and foremost.

I will most definitely try to make my way to Athens on the next tour but may visit before that if you manage to find tickets for the Eurovision song contest. Please write when you find out if Vicky Leandros and Nana Mouskouri will be putting in an appearance.

I am very much looking forward to working with Visconti. I was touched by your suggestion to look into reforming Stereo Nova to produce this album and may even take you up on it some day in the future if I ever wish to go electro, even though I must admit the notion has an air of ludicrousness about it, especially since I have joined the ranks of the world’s octogenarians. Perhaps by the time I record my Athens album Vangelis will be the wiser option. I’m sure the NME would have a field day with that one. Me running in slow-mo? The nation would turn it’s back and gag.

I’m packed…and peckish… When in Rome partaking in biscotti I shall remember your own koulouries. And your alternative lyrics for ‘Let Me Kiss You’ – the ‘tzatziki’ version – will always put a smile on my face. Of course, the word pneumonia will forever remind me of Omonoia and those ‘vromikoes’. However, I will not miss your city’s vile gyros stands and truly hope they do not haunt me in dreams.

You look very peaceful sleeping there with Mr. Penguin. I hope you keep eachother good company until I return. I will miss you and will miss the Athens sun…The way it shone out of everyone’s behind was fantastic. It must have something to do with the Gods…no?  I have to sign off for now. My ride will be arriving soon. Until our next tutorial in kaliarnta, take care bambino… Remember, there is no such thing in life as normal…so just do your best and don’t worry!

Big Hug,

Santa

Ο Ηλίας Σβύνος “κρύβεται” πίσω από το Channel Z.